Tuesday, March 8, 2011

My Story - Is It Interesting? Feedback Please!?

first paragraph: Have you ever wondered what it would be like going onto space? Also I don't like the Florida mention because other states are hot too like Texas and Arizona. The last paragraph seems random. You start out have the reader think and then go to third person explaining "he turns on..." Needs some editing but it is your first draft. It has promise. good luck!

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